Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook is just as annoying as we want it to be.

It’s finally arrived, and it’s like Christmas.

 

 

Gwyneth “Goop” Paltrow, the world’s most consistently mild human, has finally released her cookbook My Father’s Daughter, and confirmed all the little horrors I suspected she might be harbouring.

And this morning I happened upon this lovely little gem of hate from Videogum.

From what I can gather so far, it’s bland, self-congratulatory, uninteresting and smug – everything I’d dreamed of.

But my favourite so far is Eater.com’s list of “The Best Lines from Gwyneth Paltrow’s Cookbook“:

  • “The stove is really the epicenter of my house — I am never far away from it and most of the time there is something atop it, simmering away for my family.”
  • “When I was twenty-one, a friend gave me a book called Diet for a New America by John Robbins, which exposed the brutal practices of American factory farms. That, coupled with a lecture from Leonardo DiCaprio (when he was nineteen and I was twenty-one) about how such animals are kept and processed, made me lose my desire for factory farm pork and beef right there.”
  • “One cold wintry day in London, I was dreaming about salad nicoise—one of my favorites.”
  • “I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one.”
  • “During the strict macrobiotic chapter of my life, I ate miso soup every day for breakfast and sometimes with dinner as well.”
  • “One evening when I had my wood-burning stove going I realized I hadn’t thought of dessert.”
  • “I first had a version of this at a Japanese monastery during a silent retreat—don’t ask, it’s a long story.”

Dear god, make it stop.

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About the anti-laugh

This blog is a shamelessly random collection of cool things, rants and nonsense. View all posts by the anti-laugh

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