Things I have done to annoy my sister

Today my sister turns 21. She is the youngest of the three of us.

In honour of this landmark, and the fact that she’s just graduated and bought her first car, I thought I’d commemorate her induction into adulthood with this list of things I have done to annoy her over the last 21 years.

  • My sister really doesn’t like being wrong. Once, my brother and I pretended that she had told us to only ever call her Fountain, which made her furious because she knows this has never happened. This started about 8 years ago. It has not gotten less funny.
  • When she was little, my brother and I convinced her that Scream lived in my mom’s dressing room.

  • She only ever wears her hair in a ponytail. Years ago, I started this thing where I’d wait till she’d done her hair, then ask if I could borrow her hairgrip and very quickly pull off the one she was wearing. This has been going on for almost a decade and it’s now at the point where, wherever we are, if I say the words “Can I borrow…?” she immediately lunges for her hair, bumping into people and knocking things over.
  • This is an extract from a list of names I am not allowed to call her in public. When she started high school she wrote them down in a list and presented me with it, with strict instructions. There have been some additions since:

Roundton Abbey
The Abbatoir
Hot Feet Shabalala
Patches O’Hoolihan
Squiddles McDee
Squangers McFlangers

  • Whenever her car isn’t working and I have to drop her off, I do so right in from of the entrance and then follow her super slowly, continuing a very loud conversation from the window.
  • Whenever her car isn’t working and I have to fetch her, I do that thing where I start driving off just as she reaches the door handle, and then just as she catches up I head off again, until eventually she’s just jogging alongside the car.
  • When she’s trying to be cool in the car, I recite the lyrics to rap/RnB songs in a posh English accent. Most successful in this regard are Ciara’s Oh and anything by Kanye West.
  • She used to be really into The OC. I once told her I thought Ryan (Ben McKenzie) was Australian, possibly because he looks so much like Russell Crowe. She completely disagreed, saying “Just because someone looks like an Australian person, doesn’t meany they’re Australian.” When I found out that he wasn’t Australian after all, I said “Well, that’s what I was trying to tell you – he clearly isn’t Australian. You kept insisting he was Australian. It’s like you wouldn’t hear reason.” This joke has been renewed over the last decade every time either Russell Crowe, The OC, California or Australia has come up in conversation.
  • When she’s working really hard or is especially tired, I start this thing called “Imagine If My Name Was”. It literally involves me saying “Imagine if my name was Steve. Imagine if my name was Latifah. Imagine if my name was Rhema Church” and other variations until she explodes with rage.

Here’s to the next 21 years of me being a bit of a dick. Happy birthday, Fountain.


Ol’ 55: Tom Waits vs The Eagles

What Tom Waits said about The Eagles’ cover of Ol’ 55, the first single off his debut album, Closing Time.

In an interview on WAMU Radio in Washington DC (1975):

I frankly was not that particularly crazy about their rendition of it. The song is about 5 years old, it’s one of the first songs I wrote so I felt like it was kind of flattering that somebody wanted to do your song but at the same time I thought their version was a little antiseptic.”

To the NME, as quoted in an article called ‘Tom Waits: Would You Say This Man Was Attempting To Convey An Impression Of Sordid Bohemianism’ (1976):

“Naw – I don’t like the Eagles. They’re about as exciting as watching paint dry. Their albums are good for keeping the dust off your turntable and that’s about all.”

VIDEO: Some of the cast of Parks and Recreation at Google Talks

TRAILER: New Jeff Buckley movie with Penn Badgley

Thoughts, please.

VIDEO: “Creationism Is Not Appropriate For Children” – Bill Nye the Science Guy

I’ve never seen a more active comments section under a video.

Looks to me like Bill’s still got it.

They’re baaaaack… NEW: Frightened Rabbit @FRabbits

Eek! Off the folk rocking Scotsmen’s upcoming EP, State Hospital, due out next month.

Their fourth album is slated for release next year.

Her heart beats like a breeze block thrown down the stairs
Her skin is thicker than concrete, forced to be brave she was, she was
A broken elevator anthem held between floors
But if blood is thicker than concrete, all of it is not lost

2 lovely songs from The Vicious Kind, with Adam Scott

I love that the writers of Parks and Recreation totally understand the appeal of Adam Scott. He really is a cross little hummingbird of a person.

Last weekend, however, I watched The Vicious Kind and he kind of broke my heart a little bit.

He plays the severely depressive Caleb, but rather than a miserable sad sack, his is just this openly volatile, aggressive, cruel character. He has wicked, acerbic lines and ruins something with just about every action he’s given, until things change.

I loved that this was such a complex portrait of depression – Caleb is given so much agency, and wasn’t just the victim of circumstance. He’s been horribly hurt by things he couldn’t control, but it’s the way he’s responded that’s submerged him with depression – he’s never denied that action, and the responsibility is always his.

Anyway, it’s so astutely written by  Lee Toland Krieger, and Adam Scott plays Caleb so beautifully that you ended up relating to/sympathising with him without being too aware of it, even (and sometimes especially) when he does horrendous things.

But the main thing about this movie was the wonderful soundtrack. Here are two powerful songs, one by Tyler Ramsey (who went on to join Band of Horses):

and one by Radical Face.

You really should get hold of this movie. Sad films are as exciting as any other films, and I won’t hear a word otherwise. They’re thought-provoking and challenging and stimulating – how is that not exciting?


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